Why....you ask?

My desire to share certain intimate details of my sex life has led to this blog. A sort of experiment, if you will; to see if I will get the same amount of satisfaction retelling my exploits to literally whomever wants to know, (and knows about the blog) rather than a very tolerant group of friends, who may or may not want to hear about my bedroom adventures. Thus, T.M.I. begins.

I am, (for those of you who do not know me) a curvy twenty-eight year old; with brown hair and hazel eyes, that has an undetermined future and a very definite sex drive. I currently reside in Alaska. Saying this state gets cold in the winter is a bit of an understatement. It may be more notable to say it gets warm in the summer.( which not everyone knows, and is a lot more exciting to us believe me)
A common saying here is "There is not much to do here in the winter besides____ and sex" (insert desired activity such as....1. Drinking 2. Sleeping 3. Random outdoors wintry activity)
I take this as a universal need for sex. Whatever else you are into, the most basic is always there. There are exceptions, of course, ( like those individuals that baffle my view of the universe with an appalling lack of hormonal overdrive) but I would say most people have this longing for intimate contact hardwired in.

I have, over the last two years (besides a stint of turmoil some time back) been with C_. This, however, does not prevent me from other connections, as we are in an open relationship. (We are polyamorus) This is how we started our relationship, and it has been a beautiful thing for me, as I could not have known, from my beginning, as a wary friend. C_ has opened my life to more love than I could hope for, and has given me back that which I had thought I had lost forever.

Be_ was my first, and most traumatic love. (I'm not talking juvenile crush) I did not want to admit that I was Bi to the world, but most especially, I was not ready for the intimidating rejection that awaited me from a peer that found us in the throes of passion. Two women having covert sex in the dorm room with the roommate there was probably ill advised, but I was neither thinking about this, nor did I care, until accused of betrayal, and my morality was questioned. I ran. I ran away from Be_ and from my own sexuality, straight into the arms of a man whom I knew had feelings for me. After that relationship came to a devastating crash less than a year later (go figure) I could not believe I was capable of a healthy, loving relationship. As the next few years past, I continued a rocky on/off thing with Be_ where I would sleep with her, but then not be able to handle loving her. I had never told her that I kept coming back because she was always there, rooted deep into my heart. When I started being with C_ as my lover, instead of as just my friend, he gave me that which had eluded me.

I had agreed to be with C_ in an open relationship; and he told me, after I had confided in him about my past, that I should tell Be_ how I felt about her. He unraveled all of the guilt, right there, and at the same time took away all the doubts I had that an open relationship would be a positive thing for me. I am now with both C_ & Be_ , although Be_ lives in another town, halfway across the state with her husband. (also polyamous.....hmmmm)
Now you know why my blog may have more than your average love-interest count, and I may begin what will hopefully be a very satisfying experience for everyone involved. Till we meet here again.

The night before last, as I lay next to C_ , my lover, I asked him if I could start this blog. He laughed sleepily, and glanced at me from the corner of his eye, as we lay sprawled out, exhausted. We had, between us, used every bit of our combined energy to achieve this state of blissful lassitude. I was still gasping for breath from our efforts.
It may be a strange request, under normal circumstances. I don't think that asking for permission to write someone into a blog, is very sexy, most of the time; but it went something like this: Me: "Can I....*gasp* maybe ....*gasp* write...um......a......blog....about....this?" Him: "*pant* *snicker* sure." Somehow I knew he would say yes.